Got a problem? The Dolly Mama is here for you. You can find her by writing us here.
Dear Dolly,
I am a new pastor in a new congregation, and I am a woman. The men’s group has been inactive in the period between pastors and I was thinking of reviving it. A few of them still have breakfast together, come out for a grounds clean-up in the spring and the fall but they don’t have any formal association with the congregation. When I put the announcement in the parish newsletter that I hoped to revive the men’s group, spell check replaced the word group with the word grump. It advertised the reformation of the Men’s Grump. Now I don’t know what to do.
Grumpy Groupie
Dear Grumpy Groupie,
Are you concerned that your unconscious may have made this mistake? Do you think you did it “accidentally on purpose”? Are you a man-hating preacher? Or a bra burning minister? What if the mistake makes for a good title for the re-formation of the group? The men’s grump?
Lighten up. When we give things new names, sometimes wonderful things happen. What if the women’s fellowship became the women’s fun-ship? The Sunday School could become the Juvenilia? Bible Study could be called BS about Ancient Texts?
Anyway, have fun. It will make people think they aren’t even at church.
Dear Dolly,
I saw this personal ad in the Yale Alumni Magazine and wanted to create one for myself. What is it about this ad that is so good? How do I imitate it? I’m not the creative type.
No, if your favorite word is “I.”
No, if you’re a half-woke guy
Uh-uh if you’re now in jail
Ditto if you went to Yale
Miami Widow seeks…energetic male
Dear Non-Creative Type,
Note that the writer of this great personal uses the form of a limerick. Five lines. First two rhyme, second three rhyme. This woman is so creative that she doesn’t even fully follow the form but instead fiddles with the form. She could even be onomatopoetic. Unfortunately, she is very unlikely to find someone. Her ad will be formally dysfunctional. Not fun-ctional, and I’m not being funny. She is much too bright for most men and they will be intimidated. So, I recommend the straightforward approach for you, because you seem sincere in wanting to find a man. I think the Miami Widow only thinks she wants one. She is just too funny and out doing a low-cost form of personal entertainment by writing. She’s not serious. You might be.
Why don’t you send your alumni magazine something like this: “Not so creative woman, looking for a man.”
Dolly
Who is the Dolly Mama?
The Dolly Mama is a spiritual version of Dear Abby. Her intention is to combine the irreverence of Dolly Parton with the surrender and non-attachment beloved by Buddhists. She wants to let go of what can’t be fixed – in either self or others – and fix what can be by applying the balm of humor.
She is a spiritual handyperson, a soul mechanic, a repairer of broken appliances. Every now and then the combination of letting go and hanging on achieves sufficient balance for an improvement in spiritual posture, stronger spine, and personal peace. The Dolly Mama is not her day job. By day, she works as an ordained United Church of Christ and American Baptist pastor of a regular, if edgy, congregation.
